... them, but the government takes all the milk. CHINESE COMMUNISM: You own two cows. The government only lets you have one, so you abandon the other in the street, where it is left for three days, before someone disposes of it. DICTATORSHIP: You own two cows. The government takes both and shoots you. SCHOOL POLITICS: You own two cows. Your matron finds them in your cupboard. She gives you a good ticking off and tries to keep it from the housemaster. The housemaster sees you down town with them and gives you an extra lesson, but tries to keep it from the headmaster. The headmaster hears about them, he considers expelling you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in your bed-sit. He then changes his mind ... and puts you back in the school, taking a week off school holidays, banning summer dress and smiling incessantly and benignly. MILITARIANISM: You own ...

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